Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"My phone`s about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
I`ll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where`s my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I`m here! Under your jacket!"
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
"Is that for here or to go?" —Real estate agent selling a mobile home
When a man talks dirty to a woman it`s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it`s $3.95 per minute.
If he pauses a video game to text you, he`s probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like "tiny doll feet scampering into the closet" because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.