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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.