Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
I have many thoughts. I just can´t remember any of them.
Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid`s vomit.
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!