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What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? There was a DUMBASS who didn`t take it out in time.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you`ll be dead soon.
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
I`ve been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be "You said you`d be home from the bar three f*cking hours ago!"
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.