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On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
Trust me, I am a liar.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.