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I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
According to my roommate`s diary, I have boundary issues.
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I KNOW HOW TO HIDE A DEAD BODY
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?