Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted.
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.