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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 7 am is sexy... Then yeah, I`m your guy.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
A man typed in search box on Google : β€œWhat do women want?”. Google Replied : β€œWe are also searching…”
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
I liked you better before we met.
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the β€œABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...