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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullsh!t I`ll put up with before I catch on.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
Stop saying I`m hard to shop for. Surely you know where the liquor store is
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.