Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, β€œAre you sure you want to leave this page?”
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
I would like to say to all my 500+ facebook friends, that i love each and every one of you..except you number 371..your a real a@@hole!!
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming for their lives like the passengers in the back of his truck
Dwjxdjdhjfrjfjhrha! Sorry--you will get a more coherent status update AFTER I`ve had my coffee!
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.