Daily Silly Status

I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.

I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham

Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….

I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."

Just once I`d like someone to call me "sir" without having to add "you need to calm down or we`re going to have to ask you to leave"

I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.

I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”

Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it’s a defeat.

Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.

"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.

I just broke my record for most days lived.

You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?

Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time

Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.

Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.