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Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
Some days I’d like to take a chainsaw and cut a few branches off my family tree.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
I`m just doing what the beer tells me to.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
Wow, I just melted a piece of ice by staring at it. Took a little longer than I thought it would.
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
awesome collection!