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I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
I was told there would be kool-aid.
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.
Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.