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If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
I`ll never forget the first time I saw a dry erase board, "Wow" I thought, "that`s remarkable"
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.