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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax, We get it you`re unoriginal and watch SOA ... Hold on my daughter Grey`s Anatomy is crying.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
My life coach just benched me.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
My doctor said Iām healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
If nobody comes from the future to stop you, how bad can the decision really be?