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Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
awkward moment when the dentist is talking to you with his hands on your mouth
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.