Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?...She fits into your wife`s clothes.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, where in hell did he get that idea?
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
Does running out of money count as exercise?