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I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
If we could master the look dogs have when we’re eating in front of them, we’d be able to have sex with any woman at will.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?