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It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
I`d hate to be a dragon .....I`d get so pissed tryin to blow out my birthday candles.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Plan B includes margaritas.
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
I wouldn`t mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren`t coming from my wife.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.