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Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
If I ask my dad to take a picture of me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling "It`s the button on the left!"
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
When someone says “You just made my day,” it makes my day.
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an etch-a-sketch and I don`t own an iPad. Also. I`m out of alcohol.
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.