Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.