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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
You know you`re getting old when you`re looking forward to some time off so you can have like three doctors appointments.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.