Daily Silly Status

I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o

Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?

You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?

Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`

If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.

I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.

I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.

Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.

Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.

Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.

Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.

Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....

Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?

There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.

The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.