Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women