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Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
Scientists uncovered the part of the male brain responsible for pissing off women. It’s next to the part that knows how much roses cost.
Checking the time on your phone twice because you were`nt paying attention the first time
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don`t think it`s weird when I have jam in my hair.
The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they`ll erase what they did during the week.
Question everything...Or should you?
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
Honey, tact is for people who aren`t witty enough to be sarcastic.