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The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
I`d love to have a sex change. Preferably from `none` to `absolutely sh!tloads`.
Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says... "probably just sh!tfaced"
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)
I need to tell you something. I know it is going to break your heart and maybe you will not talk to me after the bad news. But I want you to hear it from me first instead of hearing it from someone else. This is going to make you cry I know. I first thought I must just keep quiet about it but I know it will not be fair on you. I am so ashamed to have to do this but you need to know the truth. Don`t be mad at me please. I will understand if you never want to hear from me ever again but it m