Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
I`m not perfect, but I`m the best me there is or ever will be.
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
I swear, its like EVERY payday I gotta spend money cause there`s a birthday party to go to, a wedding, a baby shower, a new video game, a new stripper, something. Always something...
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.