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For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.