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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
I`m like a kid in a candy store. I can`t afford anything.
There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.