Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
How big does a cupcake have to be before it’s just a cake?
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
I`m glad I don`t work in an office. I can only imagine the smell at lunch time when everybody opens their egg salad sandwiches today.