Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish Tony the Tiger would burst into a raisin commercial and yell “They’re graaaapes!”
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm down.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."
I think my phone has a Miley virus,It stopped twerking
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360