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Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
If you’ve never pretended a Cheeto is a tiny caveman club, we can’t be friends.
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
Long story short, I love summaries
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.