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Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still.
I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
I`m opening a bar called The Office. You`re welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I`m at The Office"
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?