Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
You`re probably wondering how I post so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
The grass was greener on the other side, so we smoked it.
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
If you go to dinner alone always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.