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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
“I’ll be speaking with my lawyer” is the adult version of saying “I`m telling mom”
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.
Better late than pregnant.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button