Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
You know what is cheaper than therapy? ... Admitting you`re batshit crazy and running with it.
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
I just want to be as thin as my patience.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.