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Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
is a mystery you´ll never solve
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
I finally quit eating pizza for good, now I only eat pizza for evil.
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun