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The only thing I`m really learning from this 401K meeting at work this morning is that I`ll probably never be able to retire.
A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
Getting my kids to the airport always feels like I`m recreating the first 10 minutes of "Home Alone."
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.