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Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
The iPhone 5S: Because the NSA wants your thumbprint now too.
If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.