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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
Smooth move.........ExLax
there is a big difference between spray tanned and looking like you rolled in nacho chesse doritos.
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
Don’t trust people that dislike pizza. They’re probably not human.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
I`ll bet Amish people look forward to Thanksgiving since it`s the only time their clothes look festive.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store