Daily Silly Status

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream.

I hate to sound racist, but.. all of your baby ultrasounds look the same.

My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.

Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.

I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.

It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning

"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer

Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe

Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.

I don’t need your attitude. The voices in my head are enough

Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes

If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet

And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs