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If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Sorry I yelled "April Fool`s" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
If you are really bored, I recommend mass texting all of your exes "I`m ready to give it another shot" and then get ready for the ride of your life
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
Did you know statistically you`re more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a kitchen knife.
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.