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Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Only thing harder than quitting cold turkey is quitting warm ham. It`s delicious.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......