Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.