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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
Gravity is a real downer.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.