Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
People will do odd things to get even.
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
Quite honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have even pulled over had I known all you were going to do was criticize my driving.
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
Funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers, and 6 shots, go down like a fat kid on a see-saw.
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Gyms are full of people that haven`t found the right couch.
Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don`t have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours."
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?