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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
Warning: this life contains strong language, adult situations and nudity.
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol