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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
What a terrible day. I`m going to drive through puddles & splash pedestrians to make myself feel better,
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
Flu (noun) - The only time when having used tissues laying next to your bed is socially acceptable.
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"