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Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
I just can’t stop thinking of all the people who signed my yearbooks that I have let down by failing to “stay cool”
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
I really just need a vodka cranberry and a slap on the a$$. Hold the cranberry.
You being crazy doesn`t bother me. It`s you being crazier than me...That makes me freakin` jealous.
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
In alcohol`s defence, I`ve done some pretty dumb sh*t while completely sober too.
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
Next time you`re down in the dumps...pick me up a spare tire!
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?