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My home security system is a series of paintings with the eyes cut out.
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
Is it bad that "WINE" is always on my grocery list? At the top? In all caps?
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.