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OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
One of the greatest things about owning a dog is how happy they are to see you even though you just stepped out of the house for 30 seconds.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
i feel naked without my mobile !
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
I’d be unstoppable if it wasn’t for law enforcement and physics.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.