Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
I always push when I should pull. I have doorlexia.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!