Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
They say that being successful and living well is the best revenge. That may be so, but rubbing your naked ass all over someone`s cell phone when they aren`t looking is pretty good too ?
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?