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A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.