Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
The voices in my head tell me not to listen to the voices in my head, and now I don`t know who to listen to anymore
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
The best way to grill a chicken is to whack it with a rubber hose before you ask why it crossed the road..
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
If animals spoke our language we`d be in their debt because they`d have some seriously incriminating dirt on all of us.
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
I laugh in the face of normal.
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!