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It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
New rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I`m guaranteed at least one attempt on trying to trip you.
My new girlfiend is taking forever to exist.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work