Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
Iām not crazy just the voices are!
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. ā The Opportunist
Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.
I spend my weekends farting in libraries and then shushing people that complain.