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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Such a satisfying feeling when “the one that got away” turns into “dodged that bullet”
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!