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Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)
Trust me when I say anyone can dance! - Jack Daniels
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
Nobody tell my husband that "year round periods" aren`t a thing.
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
Now tell me how old your baby is in hours.