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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. ..well, she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet..
When people said they sleep like a baby, it`s because they do not have one.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Sometimes I wish I was full of pizza instead of emotions.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.
My chemistry teacher asked us what the heaviest metal was today. Apparently "Megadeath" was the wrong answer.
I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be.