Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
Life is like toilet paper....either you`re on a roll....or you`re taking sh*t from some asshole
I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you`re free."
My therapist says I should quit talking to myself.
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says "what the hell is that" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE!
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.