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My first career was working as a Ventriloquist on a Radio Program, I got let go when people kept calling in to say my lips were moving.........
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
A court date is still technically a date, right?
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....