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If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
Tieam... problem solved
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?