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My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.