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Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I`m done chasing people who aren`t willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man can go f*ck himself!!
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
I would run a marathon. If the only 2 bars were 26.2 miles apart and the first one was closed.
I can`t believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
When you are a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since I last saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
Half a dozen: because “six” is way to long.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you.