Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s a$$ to fall off.
Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I’m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
I`ve accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble pieces.........My next poop could spell trouble.
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...