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This guy keeps asking me to help pet his neglected, one-eyed trouser snake. What a sweet guy! I think he`s a vet. Ladieeees! A doctor!!
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
Life is like a p@nis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn`t dilute in the shower.