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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.