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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I know it’s “cool” to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That’s somebody’s daughter.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
I`m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have kids as cool as theirs.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
Long story short, I love summaries
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.