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My first career was working as a Ventriloquist on a Radio Program, I got let go when people kept calling in to say my lips were moving.........
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.