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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
I hate in video games how penguins always use their ability to slide on their stomachs for evil
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
Filling out a job application. Under "Military Experience" I put that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.