Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
I want you to know that whatever problems you`re having, I`m here to read about it on Facebook
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.
If it wasn`t for claustrophobia, lack of intelligence, and my intense fear of floating poop, I would`ve made a great astronaut.