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Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
That annoying feeling when you finally downloaded the movie you wanted to watch and BOOM!... It`s in French. #F**kYouFrance
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)