Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
For all the parents with kids starting school I just want to say congratulations. You made it through another summer without killing your children!! I am proud of you all!!
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
I`m a nonviolent person until I see a spider. Then I turn into Al Capone and "I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND!
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?